So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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