so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
