1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
