exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
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bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
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i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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