like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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