I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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