my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
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