I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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