You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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