i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
You are a genius and a whore.
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