Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
i think my cat just said my name.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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