I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
My ass is underappreciated
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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