NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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