Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
