It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
ugly people sure do ruin things
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
