i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
