To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
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You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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