I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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