i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
