Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
