She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
