So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
