I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
