I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
