even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
