she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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