Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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