I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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