I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
