It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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