so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
