Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
