do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
