i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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