Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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