fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
