I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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