where am i from again
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
