I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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