I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
