Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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