sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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