So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
