I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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