theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
