Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
