Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
