have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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