fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
We left an ass print on the piano.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
