She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
