Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
