Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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