Who did Billy Mays play for?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize