i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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