with your own penis?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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