So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I fill condoms, not promises.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
