Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
