butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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