What tipped you off? The sombrero?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
