Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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