come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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