A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
