it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment