porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?