Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
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Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?